Muffin Top Syndrome

There is nothing worse than looking forward to a relaxing day at the spa and getting an unexpected eyeful of the most stomach-churning thing one can imagine. It's paralyzing; it's cringe-worthy. It's... Muffin Top Syndrome....

According to Muffin Top Nation , "Muffin Top" refers to the "abdominal spillover that results from  wearing a too-tight pair of low-cut pants". Let me just go on the record as stating that I can't believe there's a website dedicated to glamorizing muffin tops. Now that we got that out of the way, I have to say that “MTs”, as I affectionately call them, are one of the worst fashion statements anyone can make. To most of my girlfriends that is a fact, not an opinion. You see, what Muffin Top Nation fails to inform you is that the lovely term of "muffin top" has evolved. To make a long story short, MTs come in many different forms. It is my job here to explain them in their horrendous detail.

Let’s start with the always original tummy MT. Now, if you’d like to achieve this look, all one might need to do is wear pants that are way too tight/small for you. If in doubt, take that belt you’ve been longing to wear out of your closet and clip it as tight as you can!

A new form of MT has come in that of the breasts; I like to call this one “boofin’ top”, or even “quadro boob". To achieve this particular look, wear a bra that is at least 1/2 cup size too small. I will spare you all the image of this, as I want to keep your retinas unscathed. 

The last species of MT comes in the form of the upper and/or lower back. We can call this one... "Baby Got Back-fat". This particular classification is probably the easiest to achieve. From an extremely tight bra or pants, you might even be able to achieve the dreaded, double back-fat combo. Below you can see an example of lower back MT, "tramp stamp" included. (We'll save that hurdle for another day). 

So, my friends, you may be asking yourself, "How can I stop or reduce the sight of MTS" (Muffin Top Syndrome)? Well, here are some things you can try:

1.  Wear clothes that actually fit you. If you have any doubts, bring a friend with you who doesn’t have MTS.
2. Help a friend in need. If you see any sort of MT going on, inform them…please.
3.  If you have a little something extra on your midsection, cover it up! 
4. Wear a long jacket or baggy shirt. 
5. Exercise! Plan out a steady workout regimen.
6. Get a 3-way mirror. That way, you can see yourself from all angles.

It's plain and simple. Muffin Tops of any kind are the BIG STINK. Just… don’t do it. If you ever find yourself forgetting to check for this fashion no-no, repeat this rhyme to yourself over and over again: ♫Hide your fat, from your boobs to your stomach, to your back♫.

Until next time,

Syleste

Just Do the Legwork

We all know that right now, our economy sucks. Most of us, particularly young people, are without jobs and hunting for them in our desired fields. Some job seekers, myself included, turn to career-building websites, such as Monster hotjobs! and Yahoo Jobs. All I can tell you is – THEY STINK.

First off, to really get anything out of these sites, you have to pay out-of-pocket, and for those people without jobs, I doubt anyone wants to do that; I know I don’t. Do you really want 53,945 emails and phone calls asking you to come in for a “special” position that has NOTHING to do with your field of expertise? –cough- TELEMARKETER –cough-

These websites offer absolutely nothing to someone looking to build their dream career. However, if you are looking for a sales or telemarketing position, these websites are definitely for you. Of course, you could also find a temporary job in these areas, while looking for your aspired job. When you get down to the nitty gritty, these websites offer to merely get your resume on the Internet. If you are looking for a well-sought job, stay off these sites.

My advice to any job seeker is to not wait for the job to come to you; do the legwork. Get out there, inquire about available positions, and fill out those applications in person. You will be more successful this way.

Syleste

The Florida Marlins: Will They Go Belly Up?

The Florida Marlins have had some of the worst luck in baseball this season. From freak injuries, staff firings, and horrible trades, there is much buzz surrounding the future of the Marlins.

It is my own opinion, that as of today, the Marlins are a triple-A team in the big leagues. After the trades of veteran Jorge Cantu and fan favorite Cody Ross, many injuries of other players soon followed.  Sean West, starting pitcher for the Marlins, hurt his knee doing prep exercises. Chris Coghlan, 2009 Rookie of the Year, got injured trying to throw a pie in his teammate’s face, after a walk off win. Dan Uggla is out day-to-day for a right groin injury. Ricky Nolasco also missed a start, due to a freak knee injury, when he reached down to tie his own shoe. On a similar note, star catcher Ronny Paulino was suspended for 50 games, due to taking a banned over-the-counter substance.

Thus, management brought up countless players from the minors, creating a lineup full of rookies. Although outfielders Logan Morrison, Mike Stanton, and Cameron Maybin are holding their own, they still struggle to play positions that they are not adept at. Similarly, the Marlins hold the No. 1 spot in the National League for the most blown saves, particularly at the hands of their ace, Josh Johnson. In the meantime, seasoned players such as Brett Hayes and Emilio Bonifacio will now get their chance to shine, as the fight for the playoffs is nearing 30 games.

At the end of June, Marlins Manager Fredi Gonzalez was fired. Bench coach Carlos Tosca and hitting coach Jim Presley were also let go. This was a hurdle that the Marlins had to deal with, and the change seemed to be a good one. Native Puerto Rican Edwin Rodriguez became the new manager of the Marlins (the first Puerto Rican to ever manage in the big leagues), and soon kicked off a temporary winning streak. However, this news was outshined by the news of the new Marlins ballpark.

As of now, the Marlins games are held at Sun Life Stadium, home of the Miami Dolphins. The new ballpark, now scheduled to open in 2012 after a lawsuit with South Florida Auto Dealer Norman Braman, is equipped with many positives. However, the bad seems to outweigh the good.  Yes. The ballpark will have a retractable roof and seat capacity of 37,000. Yes. The ballpark will have numerous and large aquatic setups that people of all ages are sure to enjoy. HOWEVER... The price of the ballpark is high. It will cost over a half a billion dollars, not to mention that the location will be at the Orange Bowl grounds. Are you serious? If the goal is to make money, why would anyone choose that location? Season ticket holders will not want to trek all the way to the heart of Miami for a game. Nearing Kendall, the ballpark is within no major interstates, and is further away for their fans in Broward and Palm Beach counties. As a Fish fan, I hope that this $515 million park will hold its worth, and they don’t go “belly up”, so to speak. More details and comments from fans can be seen here.

I call out The Marlins as the “Big Stink”! The Fish need to come together as a team and improve their bullpen, before next season. The blown saves must stop; the weird injuries must stop; the management should stay steady. All in all, the Florida Marlins and their management need to get their acts together, before they move to their new ballpark; no one likes a losing team.

Syleste