There is nothing worse than looking forward to a relaxing day at the spa and getting an unexpected eyeful of the most stomach-churning thing one can imagine. It's paralyzing; it's cringe-worthy. It's... Muffin Top Syndrome....
According to Muffin Top Nation , "Muffin Top" refers to the "abdominal spillover that results from wearing a too-tight pair of low-cut pants". Let me just go on the record as stating that I can't believe there's a website dedicated to glamorizing muffin tops. Now that we got that out of the way, I have to say that “MTs”, as I affectionately call them, are one of the worst fashion statements anyone can make. To most of my girlfriends that is a fact, not an opinion. You see, what Muffin Top Nation fails to inform you is that the lovely term of "muffin top" has evolved. To make a long story short, MTs come in many different forms. It is my job here to explain them in their horrendous detail.
According to Muffin Top Nation , "Muffin Top" refers to the "abdominal spillover that results from wearing a too-tight pair of low-cut pants". Let me just go on the record as stating that I can't believe there's a website dedicated to glamorizing muffin tops. Now that we got that out of the way, I have to say that “MTs”, as I affectionately call them, are one of the worst fashion statements anyone can make. To most of my girlfriends that is a fact, not an opinion. You see, what Muffin Top Nation fails to inform you is that the lovely term of "muffin top" has evolved. To make a long story short, MTs come in many different forms. It is my job here to explain them in their horrendous detail.
Let’s start with the always original tummy MT. Now, if you’d like to achieve this look, all one might need to do is wear pants that are way too tight/small for you. If in doubt, take that belt you’ve been longing to wear out of your closet and clip it as tight as you can!
A new form of MT has come in that of the breasts; I like to call this one “boofin’ top”, or even “quadro boob". To achieve this particular look, wear a bra that is at least 1/2 cup size too small. I will spare you all the image of this, as I want to keep your retinas unscathed.
The last species of MT comes in the form of the upper and/or lower back. We can call this one... "Baby Got Back-fat". This particular classification is probably the easiest to achieve. From an extremely tight bra or pants, you might even be able to achieve the dreaded, double back-fat combo. Below you can see an example of lower back MT, "tramp stamp" included. (We'll save that hurdle for another day).
So, my friends, you may be asking yourself, "How can I stop or reduce the sight of MTS" (Muffin Top Syndrome)? Well, here are some things you can try:
It's plain and simple. Muffin Tops of any kind are the BIG STINK. Just… don’t do it. If you ever find yourself forgetting to check for this fashion no-no, repeat this rhyme to yourself over and over again: ♫Hide your fat, from your boobs to your stomach, to your back♫.- Wear clothes that actually fit you. If you have any doubts, bring a friend with you who doesn’t have MTS.
- Help a friend in need. If you see any sort of MT going on, inform them…please.
- If you have a little something extra on your midsection, cover it up!
- Wear a long jacket or baggy shirt.
- Exercise! Plan out a steady workout regimen.
- Get a 3-way mirror. That way, you can see yourself from all angles.
Until next time,
2 comments:
your blog posts CRACK me up. Just found you..now I'm a regular. thanks for the laughh.
Thanks so much! :)
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