Is This Needed....?

♥ I CANT STAND P3OPL3 WHO TYP3 L3IK THIS. WUT IZ TH3 POINT 2 GO OUT OF UR WAY 2 MISSP3LL W0RDS ♥ AND INT3GRAT3 NUMB3RS/SYMBOLS WH3R3 TH3Y AR3NT N33D3D W/O USING HARDLY N E PUNCTUATION ♥ DO U THINK U LOOK C00L...ITS OBNOXIOUS & MAK3S WUT U R SAYING RLY DIFFIKULT 2 R3AD. TEEHEE ♥♥♥

Typing like this is the BIG STINK.  Save yourself the trouble, and type like a normal person.

~Syleste~

Gym-goers: Clean Up After Yourselves!

I belong to three, wonderful gyms. They are all very distinct, offering differential classes, sets of equipment and training personalities. There is one problem, however: most of their members don't clean up after themselves.

When someone gets a good workout, they usually sweat just about everywhere, (more places they'd want to admit to). I have no problem with this. In fact, I look at sweating as a positive thing. Sweating profusely usually means you are working your body to its max and releasing toxins. What I can't stand, however,  is getting on a treadmill or setting up at a machine, and it's still covered in sweat! There is a reason why most gyms say, "Sweating is optional, towels are not". I don't care if you leave puddles of sweat all over the floor. When you are done, wipe the machine off! It's common courtesy.

~Syleste~

Romeo and Juliet: Love Story or Stupidity?

The other day, I was watching "Romeo + Juliet," starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes with a friend. During the movie, I began to think. I thought of all the times I was required to read this play in school, and how I never really enjoyed it much. Just as the last frame ended, my friend looked at me and said, "Isn't that the best love story of all time"? I must have looked at her like she was nuts.

Please, don't get me wrong. Shakespeare's got mad writing skills. Or as my friend argued to me, "Dude can write"! However, how is "Romeo and Juliet" the greatest love story of all time? I say, it's a tragedy about two complete brats.

If Romeo and Juliet relived their story in today's society, we'd look upon them as two, impulsive, teen hooligans. We'd feel bad for their parents and think them to be too sexually inquisitive for their age. Let us break down each character.

I call Romeo a fickle player. If he were alive today, Romeo would hop from one girl to the next, and become the "baby daddy" of at least 5 kids, before he turned 20-years-old. I mean, at the beginning of the play, Romeo is getting over Rosalyn, who he claims has caused him severe heartbreak. She doesn't feel for him the way he does for her, and he's suicidal. Then, after one quick glance at Juliet, he declares his love for her. That's physical attraction, not true emotion. You know what his friends would tell him today? They'd say, "Poor you, Romeo. The prettiest girl in school doesn't like you. Grow a pair and get over it". I'd definitely call Romeo faithless, and even a little bit of a wuss.

Juliet, on the other hand, we'd call stupid, just plain stupid. Often throughout Shakespeare's play, she threatens to kill herself, if she cannot be with her Romeo. She is a teenager who cannot have her way, and threatens her parents with a horrible act, hoping they give in to her whims. That's a whippersnapper, if I've ever heard of one.

Also, why isn't anyone calling these two CRAZY? Let's put the end of the story into the real world.... They are two young people who get married within 24 hours. Eventually, Juliet fakes her own death, Romeo forgets to check his email that day, and then kills himself when he finds her playing dead. Juliet wakes up, with her new husband's corpse on top of her, probably wishing she pulled a Britney Spears and just got the marriage annulled within 12 hours. She, because she's crazy, snaps and then kills herself too. Wow... how romantic.

"Romeo and Juliet" is NOT a love story, let alone the greatest of all time. If anything, I'd call it a lust story, a tragic lust story. Romeo hops from one girl to the next, believing himself to be in love before speaking to a girl, Juliet is spoiled and full of angst, throwing temper tantrums if she can't get her way, and they both get married within 24 hours of knowing each other. This is all a combination for tragedy.

If you're truly looking for a good love story, I'll leave you with a short list of suggestions:

The Notebook
Pride and Prejudice
Tristan + Isolde
Penelope and Odysseus
Ever After

~Syleste~

Gunther-"Ding Ding Dong"

If someone said to you, "Oooh. You touched my tra-lala," would you have any clue as to what they were talking about? Well, this happened to me, and I certainly didn't. This statement hit me like a bus. I was confused, and a little uneasy. It sounded dirty; it sounded perverted. What in the world was a "tra-lala?" I searched the Internet and it wasn't long until I found this:

**WARNING: Watching may make you feel extremely dirty. Adult content with minor nudity**

Ok. WOW. Can you say "eyegasm"? No, I don't mean that in a good way. What's with all the T&A? It's a music video, not a strip joint... and hello! Pornstache + Mullet = retro no-no.

I was informed by a friend that this "Gunther" actually released this catastrophe as a serious single; I thought it was a joke. Aren't you supposed to look your best in a scenario like this? He looks like a greasy mess! No wonder there are so many half-naked girls in it . He needs as much attention off of him as possible.

Also, what's up with the lyrics? It's like "Groundhog Day" all over again. Gunther, you've got talent.

Gunther is the BIG STINK, and I hope this is the first and last time you watch his "ding-ding-dong".




~Syleste~

Who Honestly Needs a Snuggie?

Last night, one of my girlfriends invited me over for dinner, in her home that she keeps a chilly 68 degrees. By the time we watched Casablanca, I was freezing my tail off. Coming to my aid, she hands me a bright red, wooly Snuggie - and two more; one was for her, the other - for her dog.

If you haven't watched television or shopped the "As Seen on TV" section in the last year, you might be asking yourself, "What in God's name is a 'Snuggie'"? To get full details on the product, watch one of their full commercials, and then continue to read on; I'll wait.

OK. Now that you're caught up, let's begin to analyze the product. If you know this blog, you already know my opinion, but I believe it is only fair to list its (arguable) pros and cons from actual Snuggie consumers. I am sad to say that many of my friends own the wretched Snuggie. So, I decided to poll them and get their take on the product. Let's begin:

Snuggie Pros:

~ They come in many colors and designs.

~ They are for men, women and pets.

~ They keep you warm, while keeping you free to walk and use your hands.

~ It's made of fleece, but also machine washable.

Snuggie Cons:

~ They are "staticy".

~ You can't wear them outside, out of embarrassment.

~ Your friends make fun of you for buying one.

~ One size definitely doesn't fit all.

Now that we've been all fair and balanced, I think it's about time to bring on the scrutiny, because Snuggies are a joke.

I'll just ignore the fact that the lyrics to the Snuggie commercial are to the "Macarena," because that's just way too easy. However, has anyone noticed that a Snuggie is a backwards robe? This "blanket with sleeves" isn't a new invention; any person can make one themselves.

Step 1: take the tie off of a robe.
Step 2: put the robe on backwards.
Ta-da!

Also, has anyone who's bought a Snuggie said to themselves, "Wow! I look like a Jedi"? I don't know about you all, but I don't think I want to walk around looking like I am in some Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi cult... and hey! Since when do dogs and cats need an extra source of warmth? They already have a fur coat. Contemplating buying a Snuggie for your pet is like saying, "Hmm... I think I might just throw $20 down the toilet".

Snuggies are a dumb idea, and have been deemed the BIG STINK of the day. Have you ever heard of a blanket? A robe? A hoodie? Hell, wear a muumuu; it's more stylish than the dreaded alternative! Do yourself a favor and don't fall for the bull. They're a waste of money.

~Syleste~

I'm Not Your "Bra"....

For as long as I can remember, people all over the world have created new forms of cordial salutations, for friends and passersby. Dude! Bro! Chica/o! Amigo! Pal! Homie! Brother! Buddy! Over time they evolve, while some tend to linger. One of these has always tended to make my ears bleed and my brain boil. Never call me "Bra"....

I always thought a "bra" was a female undergarment, not a term of endearment. What's next? Are we going to refer to each other as "G-string" or "Brief"? I have to hope for the sake of humanity that society would not create a term for their friends, from a garment that holds up a woman's breasts. Thus, it was research time. Where does the term "Bra" come from?

While doing some highly scientific research, I learned that "Bra", actually spelled "Brah", is short for "Braddah" or "Brother", a greeting originating from Hawaii. Searching and searching the web for it's true origin, I couldn't find it's age. Wikipedia was no help; the Urban Dictionary made my IQ drop 10 points, and Google didn't even have a clue. However, I did find that the Beatles used the term in their song from 1968, "Ob La Di, Ob La Da". So, it's at least 42 years old. I only know that the term is popular with surfers and skaters around the world. What I don't know is why my macaroni-flinging 5-year-old cousin is calling me "Bra". Scary.

So, let's just get this clear. The Beatles are awesome, thus, the term gets some cool points. It's short for "Braddah," which isn't bad at all. However, do not call someone "Bra," it just isn't right. I'll leave you with some popular alternatives to contemplate, for the time being.

Confidant! Second Self! Compadre! Bosom Buddy! Homeboy! Homeslice! Homie Skillet! Homefry! Alter Ego! Main Man! Crony! Mate! Sidekick! Chum!


~Syleste~

South Florida Driving: I Hate It.

Most people use their cars daily, and I am certain that driving is meant to be a pleasant experience. So, why do I hate it so much? I live in South Florida; that's why.

There must be a place where drivers with out-of-state license plates aren't looked at as the enemy, where having someone tailgate you 10 miles down the interstate is not a normality. I am convinced that turn signals really do exist, although I haven't seen one in nearly a month. It's even rumored that a yellow light doesn't actually mean "speed up". This is all fantasy in my world, but I've heard stories of other lands.

The last time my family was down, my cousin looked at me and said, "I was driving on I-95 today and I thought I was going to die... is it always like that"?  (She was actually fearing for her life. How sad is that?) After explaining to me why she felt her life was in peril on an interstate I use almost everyday, I simply said, "Yep". It was this day that I started thinking about why driving in the place I was born and raised sucks so hard. I now have a few theories.

1. Rules? We have No Rules! 

South Florida is a mixing pot of cultures and ages. Thus, people from different countries tend to drive the way they would from their respective country, instead of adapting it to the S. FL way of life. I've also noticed that different age groups drive very differently. This just adds in a whole new category of drivers. Stack the nationalities and the age groups, and you can mix and match driving styles to your heart's content.

    2. The Elderly

Ok. I'm not trying to knock the elderly. Let's just get that clear. HOWEVER, I think beyond age 75, people should be required to take a yearly driving test. Adding a bunch of slow drivers to S. Florida's fast-paced lifestyle is just wrong. Not to mention, a week doesn't go by when I don't hear about an elderly person that got into a fatal crash, killing not only themselves, but one or more others. If horrid traffic and incredibly slow driving irks you, avoid Boca at all costs. Fair warning, this is at its worst in the winter. Snow birds... yikes!

    3. The Weather

Any true Floridian laughs at the fact that we are the "sunshine" state. South Florida's weather is schizophrenic, at best. It's sunny, then 15 minutes later, we have a tropical storm. One constant, however, is the incredible heat. It's a proven fact that the hotter a climate, the more aggressive people tend to be. South Florida has some pretty offensive drivers. Then, of course, the heat brings the wet. Let me also inform you that no one in Florida seems to be able to drive in the rain. Whether driving way too fast and reckless, or being so scared that people don't drive more than 10 miles per hour, the weather makes already horrible drivers even worse.

    4. Tourists

Let's face facts. Half the people in South Florida have absolutely no idea where they are going. Whether it's (God, forgive me) senile old folks or camera toting tourists, the roads are slowed down, and sometimes brought to a complete standstill, by people who are lost or just seem to be looking around. Tourists are great for our economy, but suck for our traffic. 

One website I've seen explains Florida driving incredibly well:

"Worst Drivers:   Florida absolutely has the worst drivers.  As I learned many years ago when I lived near Tampa, you take your life into your own hands when you get on the Florida Interstates.  Why are drivers so bad there?  It's a combination of elderly retirees (who don't know where the accelerator is), college kids visiting during spring break (who don't know where the brake pedal is), and out-of-state tourists (who don't know where they're going).  The roads in Florida are a real zoo, especially in the spring."

Instead of truly ranting about the daily frustrations of South Florida driving, I'll stop here and look to the future. Here are some tips for safe driving from Zenhabits.

~Syleste~

This Just In: Nyjer Morgan is an Asshat

Mark your calendars. Tonight’s game, this Sept. 1, 2010, was one of the craziest I have ever seen. A high-scoring game with a full-fledged brawl, this man drama started about one week ago with one man, Washington National's player, Nyjer Morgan.

At the beginning of the season, Morgan was dawned the National's ball-smashing center fielder for the foreseeable future. As of now, Morgan is in trouble with the League, labeled the player you love to hate.

Let’s be honest; although we’ve never seen Morgan’s unorthodox MLB behavior explode the way it has in the last week, he’s always had a bit of a ‘tude. As you can see here, because poor Morgan can’t make a catch, he has to have a tantrum and throw his glove to the ground and pout in a corner. Whilst  his teammate from center field has to cover him, he allows the other team to easily score an in-park homer. Or how about this little tidbit from his hockey days, where Morgan is referred to as a “headcase,” pooping in a Gatorade bottle as a practical joke. About 1 week ago, he even threw a baseball (on purpose) into the crowd, hitting a fan in the head. It only gets worse and worse.

In yesterday’s game, Morgan stormed home plate, knocking over and injuring Brett Hayes, for the rest of the 2010 season. “He could have easily slid and been safe,” said Wes Helms, Marlins leader, in the locker rooms that night. Perhaps the Marlins were looking for payback? Tonight, 3 pitches hit Nyjer, all of which were thrown by Chris Volstad. After the third blow, Nyjer stormed the mound, attempting to punch Volstad, (who is almost 10 inches taller than him… like THAT was really going to end up in his favor). After a stunning close liner from Volstad’s teammate, Gaby sanchez, both benches were empty, and a huge man pile covered the mound. As Morgan was ejected from the game, he taunted and shouted profanities at the booing crowd. Footage of the last 2 Marlins games can be seen here, along with commentary.

It wasn’t merely Morgan who got ejected from the game. Jose Veras, Edwin Rodriguez, and Chris Volstad were also ejected. Of course, as you’d imagine, I’m sure punishments will be issued in due time. Let’s just hope Nyjer gets the one that’s most severe.

One might argue that he is a passionate player that just wants his team to win. I think he is a ruthless man with anger issues that if triggered again, should be suspended for the rest of the season.

Nyjer Morgan is the BIG STINK of the week. He needs to check his attitude and aggressive behavior. This isn’t hockey anymore, Mr. Morgan!

~Syleste~