I don't want to be one of those people who thinks their tattoo is SO cool and everyone else thinks it's incredibly lame. Nor do I want people to look at my tattoo and giggle at its stupidity. For your viewing pleasure I have gathered some horribly awesome tattoo "no-nos". Are you ready for it? OK. Here we go.
Rule 1: Don't be a walking punch line.
Example:
Haha. I get it! "Life" sucks. However, now this girl needs a permanent drum roll to follow her around. Good going, Girl. You now truly DO lose at life. EPIC FAIL.
Rule 2: Don't get tattoos on your face.
Example:
(LMAO! You totally know you "lol'd" at this picture. Don't lie to me.)
It's like a bad Men's Wearhouse ad: "Fuck yaaaa. You're gonna LOVE the way you look"!
This guy has taken oxymoron to a new level. He, in a suit no less, will never be corporate. Many jobs will not allow employees to have visible tattoos; this guy is screwed.
What's the plus side? He could be in any circus. Can you say Cirque du Soleil?
Rule 3: Communicate with your tattoo artist, and make sure you find a credible one.
Example:
This tattoo was supposed to be endearing. However, now she looks like the long-lost sister of the wicked witch from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Ouch.
Rule 4: Make sure either you or your tattoo artist can spell.
Example:
I think this is self-explanatory to all you grammar Nazis.
Rule 5: Make sure you can finish your tattoo.
Example:
Awesome, Guy. Awesome....
Were you lacking in funds so much that you couldn't even finish the "E"? Or were you that much of a wuss that you couldn't stand the pain? Maybe the finished product should be spelled "L-E-W-S-E-R"!
Rule 6: Take care of your new tattoo!
Example:
This guy's arm looks like the Sahara desert with a heroin problem. Yuck.
Make sure you go to a tattoo parlor that is clean, and take care of your skin after you leave. Never scratch your tattoo, and always keep it clean and covered. Not doing so could result in your tattoo's color bleeding. You could even get a staff infection or MRSA, which could be life-threatening.
Rule 7: Don't get too complicated.
Example:
I like interactive tattoos as much as the next guy, but come on! It looks like she's been branded. A person looking at that for the first time is just going to think she just really loves math. What's on the other leg? A road map of France?
On the plus side, her kids can never complain of boredom. All they need is a pen and mommy's leg. "Mommy's leg is my favorite toy"! Creepy.
People, tattoos are relatively permanent. Be smart when getting one and plan ahead of time. Drunken nights and poor planning result in really embarrassing tattoos.
~Syleste~
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