Who Cut the Cheese?: Weird Band Names

I was watching Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist the other day. With passionate anger, Norah yelled "If you don't have a drummer then why do you have drums, you fist-full of assholes"? Nick's band-mates then look at each other as if they have found the Holy Grail of band names. I then thought, eww... why in the world would that be a great band name? That my friends, is the inspiration for this post. What follows is a list of real bands with very odd names, some of which creep me the f#@k out.

1. Maggot Sandwich
Ugh. I just love listening to a band who's name makes me want to puke up my lunch.

2. Anal Kitties
Why did they have to bring poor, innocent kitties into their foolishness? I don't think I'll be able to look at kitties the same way again. -sigh-

3. Armadildo
Aaaaaah! What's with all the sex and animal references? Someone needs to tell these people that bestiality is frowned upon (and illegal) in most countries.

4. Mighty Sphincter
There is no way that I want to know what makes their sphincters so mighty. Save it for your momma. I don't care.

5. Mincing Fury and Gluttural Clamour of Queer Decay
Uh... can you say "long," and are you guys trying to make us depressed? Geez. You might as well be named "Cut My Wrists and Slit My Throat". I feel like tacos....

6. Betty's Not a Vitamin
Uh... that's good. What is she? A person? I'm so smart.

7. The Nomad Nipples
Why are the nipples nomads? Do they wander? Does a member of the band have nipples in multiple places? Are their teats like bad acne? I... don't get it.

8. Black Pimping Jesus
I'll save this one for Chuck Norris, because he can handle anything.

9. Boneless Children Foundation
Oy. What a bad visual. They must all look like Jabba the Hutt. Calling all you Harry Potter geeks, this band needs some Skele-Gro. Stat!

10. Penis Fly Trap
Ouch! That's got to hurt. Wear a cup!

11. Penis Genius
Well, it IS said that men have a second brain in their pants, but I doubt they meant Einstein.

When you think up a name for your band, try not to creep people out. Don't let your "unique" name outshine your music.

~Syleste~