Top 5 Inappropriate Gym Behaviors

I belong to three gyms. Each of them is very different, but the one constant is the people. I love working out, but every time I go to the gym I am astounded by the manners, or lack thereof, of the people surrounding me. Everyone is entitled to a bad day, but that doesn't excuse inappropriate gym behavior.

Thus, I compiled a list of the worst offenses of gym etiquette I could think of. Enjoy!

1.  The creepy old guy
There is little worse for a young woman than trying to get a good workout, while an older man stares at them as if they were grade A prime rib. -shudder-

It's a famous gym stereotype that no man should aspire to. Gentlemen, keep your rape eyes out of the gym, and save it for the club.

Alike, no matter how knowledgeable a trainer is, don't let them touch your naughty bits. Otherwise, some old man may be getting his jollies, while you are trying to merely burn calories. Be weary!

2. Stinky McStinkerson
I think it's common knowledge that going to the gym means that you'll eventually sweat, and that if you sweat, you might not smell so good.... I swear, it's some gym members' mission to stink up their entire vicinity. It is horrible to be running on a treadmill and progressively smell someone's toxic B.O.

Imagine having Rico Suave next to you (see above) at the gym, sweating profusely and without deodorant. -gag- He's shirtless and you can't think why. His lack of muscle definition keeps you on the verge of screaming, "For God's sake, put your shirt on!" This guy is so hairy, he looks like he is half of Burlington Coat Factory. His sweat is pouring and his aroma lingers on every machine he uses.

I so don't want to smell his brand. I'll tell you that.

Do these stinkers honestly think they smell like a dainty rose? It makes me think they just never got the memo. If I had the guts, I would pull an old school move and pass them a note, informing them of the secret they must not be aware of...

... and maybe some Right Guard. Then again, some people stink so bad, they make Right Guard turn left.

3. Freeballing and Freebobbing
When you are working out, you are in the zone. You want as little distractions as possible. So, imagine pumping massive iron and your eye catches a runner wearing absolutely no undergarments. Just... take that in for a second; imagine the eye-scathing possibilities. Scary, right?

Gentlemen, I understand that underwear may make you feel constricted, uncomfortable, that it might squeeze Admiral Winky, your Bone of Arc, your Beaver Cleaver. However, this is the one place where you should just deal with the discomfort. It's not like the gym is a place for relaxation, anyways. No one wants to see your sausage swaying in the wind, while you jog at a measly 6 mph. Your fellow gym-goers don't want to see your man-meat take on a windmill-like state. Forget the freeballing and bring on the tighty whities! Keep those babies secure; we all thank you in advance.

The same notion goes out to you, ladies. I don't want to see the exact shape of your buttocks, nor any cameltoe that may emerge.  Leave something to the imagination, please!

On a more extreme note, if your breasts look like sad pancakes, (and this is also directed to all you gentlemen with moobs), please don't go without a bra. I call this act "freebobbing". You are free to use the term.

4. Loud and splashy clothing
The gym is loud enough when you are concentrating on that last set of squats, or running that final mile. Thus, accessories are not your best workout friend. Leave the bangles, hoop earrings, chains - anything that will clink and clank - at home. It's annoying and drives the people around you nuts!

Less is more.

The gym is a place where sweat is a sign of accomplishment. It is NOT a beauty contest. Very little is more irritating than people who dress to impress at the gym and barely do anything, monopolizing the machines.

 

Can you imagine these people in your gym? It'd be like '80s aerobics on crack. Weird.

Come on. Wearing heels to the gym is pretty bad, and of course! We can't forget to check out our butts in the mirror. That's a given. I'm sure the lady above will get a GREAT workout. -rolls eyes-

5. The One-Upper

You're on the treadmill with a stranger beside you. You go 5 mph. The stranger next to you glances at your screen, and increases their speed to 5.5 mph. You run for 15 minutes; they run for 16. You lift 20 - pound weights; they lift 30.

Remind you of someone?

I ran 30 miles an hourrrrrr, for 4 hourrrrrs, without stopiiiiiing.

Are they insecure and think that they must do more than you to feel good about themselves? Were they unloved as a child or have an unhealthy obsession with competition? Who knows? Maybe they just need a hug. Regardless, no one needs people they don't know secretly engaging them into a battle of strength and endurance.

No one cares about your personal goals, One-Upper. We only care about our own. Get a life and stay out of ours.


Be courteous to your fellow gym-goers. Gym etiquette is universal.

~Syleste~

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