"Fun Time" - Creative Mall Activity for Children

No, my friends. Your eyes are not deceiving you. Those are children... in plastic balls... on the water. I took these photos only last night with my piddly, little iPhone. So, excuse the quality. They are from Coral Square Mall in Coral Springs, Florida - not my favorite mall, to be clear. However, here, right in front of the JC Penney entrance, this monstrosity stands. Honestly, if I were a kid, I would think this...

Top 5 Inappropriate Gym Behaviors

I belong to three gyms. Each of them is very different, but the one constant is the people. I love working out, but every time I go to the gym I am astounded by the manners, or lack thereof, of the people surrounding me. Everyone is entitled to a bad day, but that doesn't excuse inappropriate gym behavior. Thus, I compiled a list of the worst offenses of gym etiquette I could think of. Enjoy! 1.  The creepy old...

Designer Bags

I love purses! Forget diamonds... bags are a girl's best friend! Bags, bags, bags - baggity bags. It's music to my ears. Coach, Chanel, Dooney & Bourke, Louis Vuitton ... I love them all! Designer bags, "DBs" as I adoringly call them, more specifically are my passion. There's just one, not so small problem; I'm broke. Oh DBs, why must you taunt me? With your perfect mixes of shiny leather and conservative flare......

Boca Raton

Boca Raton is a mixing pot of ages, and a magnet for tourists. I'm there all the time and I love it. However, one thing I can't stand is people mispronouncing the name of the city. I've noticed some Boca residents can't even say it right! It's Boca "RA-TONE," as in "you're TONE deaf". It's not Boca "ratonnnn," as in "moronnnn". Listen and learn. It's a Spanish word, people. GET IT RIGHT! ~Syles...

14 Terrible Baby Names

Everyday I become more and more convinced that parents are trying to make their kids' lives miserable. Let's face facts. Kids are known for being mean. So, why would parents name their kids something crazy, something sure to make them the target of ridicule for the greater part of their adolescent lives? Need examples? I thought you might. Here are some names I have come across recently. Some of the full names I have...

Election Day... Finally!

*Cue scary announcer guy* "Republican governor 'Dick Bob' wets the bed. Sources close to his administration tell us that his momma is so fat, her belt size... is the EQUATOR! Can we really afford 4 more years? ThisadispaidforbyDemocratsforAmericaTM...." ... Sound familiar? Thank the sweet lord election day is finally over, because these attack ads really chap my ass.  I have no idea how the people I'm voting...

How to Dance Like a White Guy

Clubbing can be very embarrassing for those of the Caucasian persuasion. I can't stand going out and seeing those who can't dance acting like they are the coolest thing since sliced bread. Although it's entertaining for the first 10 minutes, (we point and laugh at their attempt to be cool), it's just annoying eventually. The innocent bystander's irritation is inevitable. If you can't think of what I mean, imagine...

Weird Band Names

I was watching Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist the other day. With passionate anger, Norah yelled "If you don't have a drummer then why do you have drums, you fist-full of assholes"? Nick's band-mates then look at each other as if they have found the Holy Grail of band names. I then thought, eww... why in the world would that be a great band name? That my friends, is the inspiration for this post. What follows is a list of real bands with very odd names, some of which creep me the f#@k out. 1. Maggot Sandwich  Ugh....

Austin Powers - Dr.evil tells Scott to zip it!

To Whom it May Concern, If I have to hear one more time that the Austin Powers series is "ridiculous," I will cut someone. That's right. I will get violent. (OK. No, not really.) Seriously, though... I am passionate about the epic quality the series has. Does Mr. Powers offend you? Is it his teeth? Do swingers make you uncomfortable? Are you anti-cryogenic freezing? What is it? Tell me, please! I don't get it. Austin Powers is the epitome of awesome. Period. Anyone that says differently can suck a pickle. (Ew.... pickles)....

Horrible Tattoos

My best friend has 11 tattoos. I've always been one of those people who has been annoyingly afraid of needles. I faint when I get my blood drawn, and getting shots is always blown out of proportion. However, lately (only God knows why) I've been contemplating getting one. Maybe it will be something musical, something simple, something I won't regret getting when I'm 70 years old. So... I've been rummaging through...

Celebrity Offspring

Today, we live in a world that is run by "celebrity". Lady Gaga's latest outfit gets front page news, while the failing economy gets third. I don't know about you, but I can't stand the lame-o gossip and the fact that I can't watch television or read a magazine without an actress, singer or model telling me what I should wear, think or be. With all this celebrity nonsense already present, do we really want their...

BAD Hallowen Costumes

Halloween is quickly approaching. So, I have started my annual costume-hunt. All Hallow's-Eve is suppose to be a night where us humans walk amongst and blend in with the dead and wicked. Instead, however, we choose to masquerade as comic-book heroes, slutty nurses, cave men, Freddy or Jason... I've even seen vending machines and dildo men. As usual, my female mind has to automatically go to the age-old question: slutty...

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. A cause near and dear to my heart (both my grandparents are breast cancer survivors), there are so many things I try to do to help. Lately, I have been seeing some... interesting things... that people are attempting, to bring awareness to the cause. Let me just say, that although your intentions might be good, updating your Facebook status about where you like to put your...

"Diet" is a Dirty Word

About two years ago, I was looking in the mirror and was sick of what I saw. I was a Junior in college - and I was overweight. I knew then that I had to do something about it immediately, while I was determined to do so. People would tell me, "Just go on a diet"! However, myself and half the people I know have done at least 10 diets, and I have come to a bitter conclusion: diets suck! The word "diet" is like a dirty...

Is This Needed....?

♥ I CANT STAND P3OPL3 WHO TYP3 L3IK THIS. WUT IZ TH3 POINT 2 GO OUT OF UR WAY 2 MISSP3LL W0RDS ♥ AND INT3GRAT3 NUMB3RS/SYMBOLS WH3R3 TH3Y AR3NT N33D3D W/O USING HARDLY N E PUNCTUATION ♥ DO U THINK U LOOK C00L...ITS OBNOXIOUS & MAK3S WUT U R SAYING RLY DIFFIKULT 2 R3AD. TEEHEE ♥♥♥ Typing like this is the BIG STINK.  Save yourself the trouble, and type like a normal person. ~Syles...

Gym-goers: Clean Up After Yourselves!

I belong to three, wonderful gyms. They are all very distinct, offering differential classes, sets of equipment and training personalities. There is one problem, however: most of their members don't clean up after themselves. When someone gets a good workout, they usually sweat just about everywhere, (more places they'd want to admit to). I have no problem with this. In fact, I look at sweating as a positive thing....

Romeo and Juliet: Love Story or Stupidity?

The other day, I was watching "Romeo + Juliet," starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes with a friend. During the movie, I began to think. I thought of all the times I was required to read this play in school, and how I never really enjoyed it much. Just as the last frame ended, my friend looked at me and said, "Isn't that the best love story of all time"? I must have looked at her like she was nuts. Please, don't get me wrong. Shakespeare's got mad writing skills. Or as my friend argued to me, "Dude can write"! However,...

Gunther-"Ding Ding Dong"

If someone said to you, "Oooh. You touched my tra-lala," would you have any clue as to what they were talking about? Well, this happened to me, and I certainly didn't. This statement hit me like a bus. I was confused, and a little uneasy. It sounded dirty; it sounded perverted. What in the world was a "tra-lala?" I searched the Internet and it wasn't long until I found this: **WARNING: Watching may make you feel extremely...

Who Honestly Needs a Snuggie?

Last night, one of my girlfriends invited me over for dinner, in her home that she keeps a chilly 68 degrees. By the time we watched Casablanca, I was freezing my tail off. Coming to my aid, she hands me a bright red, wooly Snuggie - and two more; one was for her, the other - for her dog. If you haven't watched television or shopped the "As Seen on TV" section in the last year, you might be asking yourself, "What in God's name is a 'Snuggie'"? To get full details on the product, watch one of their full commercials, and then...

I'm Not Your "Bra"....

For as long as I can remember, people all over the world have created new forms of cordial salutations, for friends and passersby. Dude! Bro! Chica/o! Amigo! Pal! Homie! Brother! Buddy! Over time they evolve, while some tend to linger. One of these has always tended to make my ears bleed and my brain boil. Never call me "Bra".... I always thought a "bra" was a female undergarment, not a term of endearment. What's next? Are we going to refer to each other as "G-string" or "Brief"? I have to hope for the sake of humanity that...

South Florida Driving: I Hate It.

Most people use their cars daily, and I am certain that driving is meant to be a pleasant experience. So, why do I hate it so much? I live in South Florida; that's why. There must be a place where drivers with out-of-state license plates aren't looked at as the enemy, where having someone tailgate you 10 miles down the interstate is not a normality. I am convinced that turn signals really do exist, although I haven't seen one in nearly a month. It's even rumored that a yellow light doesn't actually mean "speed up". This is...

This Just In: Nyjer Morgan is an Asshat

Mark your calendars. Tonight’s game, this Sept. 1, 2010, was one of the craziest I have ever seen. A high-scoring game with a full-fledged brawl, this man drama started about one week ago with one man, Washington National's player, Nyjer Morgan. At the beginning of the season, Morgan was dawned the National's ball-smashing center fielder for the foreseeable future. As of now, Morgan is in trouble with the League, labeled the player you love to hate. Let’s be honest; although we’ve never seen Morgan’s unorthodox MLB behavior...

Muffin Top Syndrome

There is nothing worse than looking forward to a relaxing day at the spa and getting an unexpected eyeful of the most stomach-churning thing one can imagine. It's paralyzing; it's cringe-worthy. It's... Muffin Top Syndrome.... According to Muffin Top Nation , "Muffin Top" refers to the "abdominal spillover that results from  wearing a too-tight pair of low-cut pants". Let me just go on the record...

Just Do the Legwork

We all know that right now, our economy sucks. Most of us, particularly young people, are without jobs and hunting for them in our desired fields. Some job seekers, myself included, turn to career-building websites, such as Monster hotjobs! and Yahoo Jobs. All I can tell you is – THEY STINK. First off, to really get anything out of these sites, you have to pay out-of-pocket, and for those people without jobs, I doubt anyone wants to do that; I know I don’t. Do you really want 53,945 emails and phone calls asking you to come...

The Florida Marlins: Will They Go Belly Up?

The Florida Marlins have had some of the worst luck in baseball this season. From freak injuries, staff firings, and horrible trades, there is much buzz surrounding the future of the Marlins. It is my own opinion, that as of today, the Marlins are a triple-A team in the big leagues. After the trades of veteran Jorge Cantu and fan favorite Cody Ross, many injuries of other players soon followed.  Sean West, starting pitcher for the Marlins, hurt his knee doing prep exercises. Chris Coghlan, 2009 Rookie of the Year,...